November - Bittersweet memories.

How emotions can be effected so easily is ridiculous, November has been a complete rollercoaster of a month, it is not even funny or fair!
My mum had to go down south to visit my Nan and attend a hospital appointment with her, she’s going through a major cancer scare, but I didn’t hear anything back from what was going on so assumed no news was good news. Until, I quickly discover that my Nan is suffering from lung cancer and it is aggressive and spreading to her brain. You cannot be serious, how can in the space of a week my illusions be shattered and I find out such devastating news? It has to be a dream, this can’t be happening, my Nan is supposed to live forever, not now be a victim of an illness that the only solution is death. It is an overwhelming thought, my Nan has been at every birthday, every celebration, taken me away for weekends, she has lived in the same house since before I was born and has always been funny, happy, confident and extremely outspoken and now what? She’s vulnerable, weak and most of all afraid. Death is not something to be wished upon any one, especially not those you love the most, and in all honesty I’m scared. How much my life will change knowing my lovely Nanny won’t be around to make new memories with me: I am determined to spend some more time with her, and my visit down south is a success. She even experiences my driving for the first time, and most probably the last. One thing I can always be thankful for is that I was very loved by good old Nanny Pat, and she will be forever loved by me.